Unity: Week 12

President Eyring spoke of unity and what we need to do to become one.  The gospel of Jesus Christ gives us the tools we need.  Those tools are ordinances and covenants and when we are obedient to those ordinances and covenants, and use the Atonement of Christ, have the ability to change our natures and live in unity.  President Eyring stated, “A man and his wife learn to be one by using their similarities to understand each other and their differences to complement each other in serving one another and those around them.”

Mathew O. Richardson gave a great talk on unity in marriage entitled, “Three Principles of Marriage.”  He said, “Unity in marriage is not achieved simply by kneeling at an altar and accepting a spouse. It requires effort for a couple to become one. Marital unity doesn’t mean that spouses agree on everything. It also doesn’t mean they have to spend every minute of every day together, think the same thoughts, and order the same meal at restaurants. Rather than relying on our interpretation of what “one flesh” means in marriage, it would be well to consider this divine concept as taught in the scriptures.”


Richardson references the scriptures and the examples of Adam and Eve to pattern our marriages after. I like that he pointed out we do not have to agree on everything with our spouse in order to become one.  As Eyring stated, it is more about changing our natures through the gospel and having the Spirit with us to make us more like Christ.  This is how one achieves a unified relationship.
Elder Richardson also shared some thoughts by President Kimball in his talk, “To create such a relationship," President Kimball suggested, couples should realize that “each must accept literally and fully that the good of the little new family must always be superior to the good of either spouse.” While this does not remove individual plans, preferences, talents, and goals, it does place both partners on a shared path where they can accommodate and care for each other. President Kimball taught that individuals involved in marriage are to “eliminate the ‘I’ and the ‘my’ and substitute therefore ‘we’ and ‘our.’” He then concluded: “Every decision must take into consideration that now two or more are affected by it.”  Couples who understand and emphasize this mindset avoid selfishness and nurture a deepening unity that makes them one. In other words, they begin to experience what Christ meant when He said “they are no more twain, but one flesh” (Matt. 19:6).”
Marriage can be difficult to combine two separate adults way of thinking.  We have to come together to make decisions, some of them very difficult. But, by putting aside our selfishness and pride, we can come together and do what is best for the family as a whole.  Man and woman, when they come together, create a whole.

Elder Richard G. Scott shared this about the roles of husband and wives, “Those roles are different but entirely compatible. In the Lord’s plan, it takes two—a man and a woman—to form a whole. Indeed, a husband and wife are not two identical halves, but a wondrous, divinely determined combination of complementary capacities and characteristics.  Marriage allows these different characteristics to come together in oneness—in unity—to bless a husband and wife, their children and grandchildren. For the greatest happiness and productivity in life, both husband and wife are needed.”  Elder Richardson shared, “Our Father knew exactly what He was doing when He created us. He made us enough alike to love each other, but enough different that we would need to unite our strengths and stewardships to create a whole. Neither man nor woman is perfect or complete without the other.”

I am grateful for this wise council.  Becoming one in marriage does not mean we have lost our own identity and just follow blindly along.  Instead, it requires us to become followers of Christ and to work together for the good of the marriage and for the family.  This is God’s plan for us, the Great Plan of Happiness.   It is achievable if we are willing to work and submit our will to the Lord’s will. It may not always be easy, but it is worth the effort for the rewards are great.

Reference

Scott, R. G. (1996, Nov.) The Joy of Living the Great Plan of Happiness. Ensign.

Richardson, M. O. (2005, Apr.) Three Principles of Marriage. Ensign.

Eyring, H. B. (1998, May) That We May Be One. Ensign.